9:25am

5/23/20

#24

I used to obsess over the magical quality of goodbyes. How you can pretend like everything is okay leading up to the goodbye. And then once it’s time for goodbye, the entire mood changes as if the Earth just flipped upside down just for you. And you think, “I might never see this person again.” So you cry cry and cry. And you hug, and it sucks. And you exchange whatever words that are in your head. You hug once last time and walk away. Maybe you look back. Maybe you don’t. You think about them and how they meant to you. And then you move on with your life. Such an interesting thing. Goodbyes.

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” – Winnie the Pooh

In the back of my head, the goodbye was always looming there. Thinking of how hard it’ll be, thinking what it will be like, trying to maximize everything so it’ll be a “good” goodbye. That’s not possible. The only way to make a goodbye “good” is to make the time you spent with them good. That’s it. Learn as hard as you can. Be present for every single moment. Don’t think of the past, don’t think of the future, just think of your time with them now. And then wipe away your god damn tears because how lucky you are to have someone to makes goodbyes so far.

Kiubon