#255

2.10.22

6:53p

I watched a documentary recently called Three Songs for Benazir. Towards the end, the main protagonist’s two boys came up to greet him. He said to his wife, “Where are their shoes?” The wife responded, “I don’t have money for shoes.”

What the hell am I doing worrying about anything? These two kids are barefoot in Afghanistan, and I’m strolling through France with close to $4,000 worth of camera equipment and very nice shoes.

So it might be human nature to feel a little nervous while asking strangers for a place to sleep or a more emotionally involved question in a car. I’ll feel the fear and ask anyways. I’ll feel the fear and go beyond. I’ll feel the fear, look at my nice fucking shoes, and go.

Kiubon

#254

2.6.22

6:15p

Took two more cars to get to Limoges. I am constantly astonished at how kind strangers are. A couple picked me up and drove out of their way to depose me to a better location. I guess I looked like an idiot standing on the wrong side of the road. They are hitchhiking veterans and gave me advice and even made a “Limoges” sign for me! Why??? Why are they so kind??? Are humans just kind??

Then another couple picked me up and drove me straight to Limoges. He was 21 and she was 19. I am 22! 22! I am older than them. I should be serving them! Humbled. So humbled.

Kiubon

#253

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” – Victor Frankl

Didn’t get an interview for the grad school I wanted to go. Shall I pout and binge eat shit? I already did that yesterday. Life reminded me of the above Victor Frankl quote. So no more pouting. No more eating junk. Move on.

Kiubon

#252

2.3.22

3:51p

As my time in Clermont-Ferrand comes to close, I will probably be going to Limoges to get interviewed for a local television station??? I am starting to get comfortable here, meeting lots of amazing people, sleeping in without an alarm, and eating too much bread and sugar. And soon, I’ll be back on the road with feeling weird because I won’t know where I’ll be sleeping. This is all contributing to the documentary to make good art. I don’t know why my mind automatically goes to the shitty scenario. I literally have nothing to worry about. If I wanted to, I could tap out and pay for a flight back to the States, tonight. But I won’t. I will keep going. Keep meeting cool people, discovering what this documentary is about, and learning.

Kiubon

#251

2.1.22

11:42a

After a day of screenings, expensive french food, and walking around the city, I went to the festival bar to meet people. I didn’t know a single person there. I did a round outside then went inside to do the same. All strangers. Shit I wasn’t feeling courageous to talk to strangers. Ironic right since that’s the topic of my documentary. So I was about to leave but wanted to stay a little bit longer to give it a little bit more. Then I spotted Liga, the Latvian girl I met earlier. A familiar face! Finally. I met her at the bar and started talking. Which slowly led to me meeting Iris, Hyatt, Lena, Solomon, Jukka, Yasmine, Bruno, and Maggie. And one of them has their own production company and could possibly help produce my feature doc??? Exciting! So stay a little longer. Go a little bit more. Do two more pushups. Walk a couple more steps because your world could change!

Kiubon

#250

According to this article, there’s a .0000089% likelihood of being killed or raped while hitchhiking in the United States.

I’ve always been afraid of picking up hitchhikers and hitchhiking. You just don’t do that. It’s dangerous! Right?

What about cigarettes? US Culture ingrained in us the dangers of smoking. Now I immediately look down on someone who smokes. Gross.

But what about Europe? Their culture believes smoking is social and cool. They still know it’s harmful. Their cigarette boxes are decorated with disgusting photos of rotten teeth, lungs, mouths, etc. Yet everybody does it. If you don’t smoke, you’ll be left behind like a loner during the smoke break.

So back to hitchhiking. This is what the culture tells us. So far I’ve hitchhiked five different times. Each person was kind and hospitable.

Abdel

Jonasse

Cristelle and Jacques

Piere

Erma

Why is this the case? Are their actually nice people in this world? Have we’ve been believing false propaganda? Perhaps.

So far I’ve travelled 181 km or 112 miles by hitchhiking. It’s more economical, better for the environment, more social, and inspiring for faith in humanity.

Kiubon

#249

I met a man from Morocco sitting on a church bench in Argeles-sur-mer. We talked, he brought his goon friends over who offered me hash and talked poorly about women, so I left. He told me hitchhiking is too dangerous and can’t be done here in this village. A scared man. I had literally just said goodbye to a very attractive French woman who had hitchhiked enough for two lifetimes. She was all for it. So I walked to a roundabout and stuck up my thumb and smiled as wide as I could. People drive on. People shrugged their shoulders. They shook their heads. And I got more and more discouraged. I walked further down the road, getting more scared what I would do, because I had no place to sleep that night. I kept walking with my heavy backpack and thumb up. Finally a couple stopped their car. I ran to their car, in disbelief they stopped. I’m forgetting the woman’s name. The man’s name was Jacques. They drove me closer to the highway where I was walking towards. First hitchhike a success! I walked towards the highway and stuck my thumb up again. One car passed, the next stopped. Two cars! After two cars I got picked up. This man’s name was Perier. I told him I’m filming a documentary and he was a little shook up when I started unzipping my backpack lol. So I filmed him a little, he drove me past the second town, Elne, and deposited me towards the direction of Perpignan. I thanked him and stuck my thumb up some more. After enough time for me to think, I should be filming this, a man approached with his car. His name was Erma. But the French people who can’t pronounce his name call him Jesus, his middle name. He was going towards Perpignan. He only spoke Spanish so I brought my crappy Spanish. I think he was weirded out by how thankful I was and how many times I thanked him. I also asked all three of these people if I could sleep at their place which they all denied. Still without a place to sleep! So I decided to spend the money and go for the youth hostel. I was going to ask random people in the street (which I did while hitchhking), but figured I was too scared and already did enough for the day. So I walked towards the hostel (the only one in town) and dropped my phone, rendering 2/3 the screen useless. It was enough to get me to the hostel, where I found it closed for the winter. Alrighty. What am I going to do now. I was seriously considering sleeping in the bushes, but I would’ve froze since sleeping in a hostel hallway the night before was so cold. I asked a random man next to his car if I could sleep at his house and he said he sleeps in his car lol. He gave me the number for the homeless shelter which I called. They asked me, “how long have you been homeless for?” Can you imagine how shitty you feel when a homeless shelter calls you and you say you paid an absurd amount of money to fly to their country from the united states, you’re here making a documentary, and now you want free accommodation? I couldn’t steep to that level of disrespect. So I said, okay, time to start asking strangers. There was a man working at his desk with the light one, I was about to pass, but said fuck it and rung the door bell. I explained everything, and he let me in. Phew. Wow. I entrusted him with my passport, and he’s holding that for security. We dined like kings and queens. I hadn’t eaten anything all day. The entire day was saved by Bernard and Jeannette.

You have to be persistent. With everything. How badly do you want it? With sales calls, with habits, with finding a place to sleep in some random french city you’ve never heard before. That day, I had asked 7 people to sleep at their place. 1 said yes. That is better odds than hitchhiking. When you want to tap out, go a little bit more, then a little bit even more beyond that, and if it requires, one last push. Then go ahead to plan b.

Kiubon

#248

1.23.22

2:04p

I met Libby and Mateo around 2pm this past Thursday. We said goodbye on Sunday around 4am after stuffing our faces, jumping around in a techno club, and taking massive dumps on the dullest bar in Madrid. During our short time together, we talked about our separated parents, our travel dreams, romances, and drugs. The whole purpose of the documentary is to see how well strangers can connect and Libby and Mateo are testaments to the magic spark strangers create with one another. I feel so close with them yet they don’t know everything about me, my bad habits, my idiosyncrasies, my deep fears. They’re giving me the energy to carry out this documentary and spark more magic. Libby and Mateo, the world is more genuine, exciting, and fun because you two are here.

Kiubon

#247

1.20.22

12:28p

Yesterday I wrote about this awesome night, which it truly was, and now I’m feeling like a sack of shit with all these insecurities that returned to my head. “You’re not good enough to do this. You’re spending too much money. Nobody wants to be your friend.” You can have these wonderful days or nights but if you don’t fix the problem at the source, you’ll revert back to harbored shame or fear. So I’m creating the narrative in my head that I can do this. Which I can. I’ve been in far duller circumstances and made the most of it. I’m the best at travel out of all my friends. I’ve made films that made people cry. If it’s necessary for me to hype myself up in this manner to construct a more positive narrative then so be it. I am here for a reason. I will honor these BlaBlaCar drivers. This is only the beginning

Kiubon

#246

1.19.22

I started the day yesterday speaking with one of my old “students”. I definitely taught her nothing and wasn’t formerly her teacher. I was just there in France to fart around for the summer while making movies with kids. That was in summer 2018. I reached out to Claudia asking if she’d want to meet. We have literally not talked since that French countryside summer. It was surreal. She is a completely new person. The amount of growth, strength, wisdom, she showed was breathtaking. Wow. I’m baffled at how much positive growth she’s experienced. How crazy to meet someone for like two weeks in the middle of nowhere France and then meet again in a Spanish coffee shop, wearing masks, displaying absurd amounts of growth.

Following that, a group of charming Italians, two Frenchies, and an Irish guy welcomed this American tourist with warm outstretched hands. I laughed about 70% of the entire night, while completely sober and having an amazing time. I didn’t care what people thought of me or my dancing, the banter was impeccable, the group chemistry was like a sitcom. I’m at a loss of words to describe how warm, accepted, and lovely I felt yesterday.

Kiubon

#245

1.18.22

1:52p

Sometimes I doubt whether or not I can create something worth watching from this documentary. Maybe I should scrap it and just go party in these European cities with other tourists. Maybe I shouldn’t be the one doing this because I’m not charming enough or creative or good looking. Or I can recognize the doubt as a sign I’m doing the right thing. Or I can shift my focus from making a good documentary to just connecting with these BlaBlaCar drivers so they can be heard. Doubt is a sign you’re putting in the work. This is only the start of my trip. I’ve done one ride. Anything can change. This whole project could change focus. I am exactly where I need to be.

Kiubon

#244

1.17.22

10:26a

I arrived in Madrid with my elementary Spanish feeling like a complete lunatic. I’ve prided myself in navigating public transport systems, but trying to buy a Madrid metro card and load one trip made me feel like a complete idiot. After multiple what the fucks under my breath, I headed towards my expensive hostel. Then my BlaBlaCar Driver texted with photos of the mics I left in his car. Welp. What the fuck. He sent me frantic Spanish voice memos, and I opened google translate at least 4 times in 30 seconds. I arrived in the city and ate at Walk to Wok. In that restaurant there were three total Asian people, and I haven’t seen any other Asians since. The food was delicious, and I wanted to cry.

Travel is a privilege. As I complain about having food in my belly, money to buy the food, means to take public transportation, losing expensive camera equipment, and having a sub $500 cellphone, I remind myself that travel is a privilege. All these instances shape my travel experience, making it unique and interesting. I will welcome all of them. Travel is the fattest privilege I indulge in. Like a bucket of lard in the middle of a grease pool. This is all just a fat indulgence. And I am grateful.

Kiubon.

#242

1.15.22

4:01p

I am embarking on a four month journey to capture how well strangers can connect within the span of a car ride. I will be using the carpooling service, BlaBlaCar. I am currently in Lisbon, the start of my trip, and didn’t blog the last week because of travel and scatter brain. Now that I am here, some conclusions:

It’s easy to tap out when you are uncomfortable, you must go beyond in order to grow

Travel is a privilege.

I love Lisbon.

It’s really hard for me to deny sugar, starches, and unhealthy carbs when they’re right in front of me.

Being fearful and operating under a mentality of timidness will do nothing for me. I must communicate, go beyond, and not hide in order to truly connect with other’s around me, which is the whole purpose and goal of this documentary.

Kiubon