#273

3.20.22

7:47p

Me and my friend Matteo are in Berlin going from bar to bar trying to find people who want to hang out with us. We’re two dumb tourists, unconfident as all hell. Even asking the bartender for water (because we’re on a budget) doesn’t prove natural. At our last bar, the bartender put a slice of lemon in the glasses of water. Even though it was just a slice of lemon and took less than two seconds for the mr berlin black shirt bartender to put drop it in, it was a reminder that some people are nicer than we think.

Kiubon

#272

3.16.22

5:37p

Let’s say Russia bombs a NATO country and the USA steps in, declares a state of emergency, and you’re drafted into the military, sent straight to Ukraine with a M16 in your trembling hands.

You could die. You probably will die.

This could happen in X amount of years. Insert whatever number you want. Maybe it’s not fighting on the front lines. Maybe it’s a nuke.

Nevertheless, you’re dead.

This scenario begs the question, therefore are you living out your best life today?

Because you could die. You will die. What are you doing today to make sure you’re alive?

I think about Steve Jobs, who worked his ass off for Apple, Pixar, etc. And then pancreatic cancer. $250 million to his name and he’s dead.

He better have enjoyed the ride. Rich and dead. Is it worth it?

I’m not sure. I dick around with my time way too much. I am prime meat to be sent to a war if the US says so. I write these posts for myself to convince myself to stop being a dumbass. I will hit publish and probably dick around some more, without changing any of my behavior.

So conviction, come on in. Whip me to shape.

Kiubon

#271

3.9.22

6:50p

The price of the BlaBlaBus went up because I waited too long to book it.

Kiubon

#270

3.8.22

11a

Jump out of an airplane

Meditation Retreat

A Past Year Review

Vacation

Reach out to friends you haven’t talked to in a while

Fast

Learn a new skill

Develop a new habit

Read at least one book (come on)

Quit a bad habit

Save money

Kiubon

#269

3.7.22

11:55a

It’s my fourth time here in Paris. Four times! It’s like that quote where you stop into a river and it’s never the same river because either you change or the river changes. Compared to the first three times, I am already growing and changing. And the third time was one week ago. It’s refreshing to walk through a city and appreciate the nooks and crannies. Before I wasn’t really “seeing” anything. I understand why Paris is the tourism capital of the world. It’s beautiful, fun, exciting, visceral.

Here’s to more Paris trips and continuing to grow !

Kiubon

#268

3.4.22

4:15p

Still Woozy concert in Berlin has been rescheduled to November. I was blasting his music right before I learned the news. Shit. Automatically felt like shit.

I was looking forward to this like crazy. Sure, I’d have a great time and I might be able to make the November show. But on my deathbed, will I be thinking of the still woozy concert in 2022? Probably not.

So just like I wrote in a previous post, when faced with a stimulus, we can choose our response. Here’s to being flexible. Here’s to doing something else in Berlin that I might actually remember on my deathbed.

Till November, Still Woozy

Kiubon

#267

3.3.22

3:30pm

#267

There was a father and daughter at the Arlon Train Station. Only 30,000 people live in Arlon, Belgium so I immediately felt an affinity with them. My ears always perk up when I hear American accents.

I was going to go up to them and start talking because, you know, we’re the only Americans here. But I didn’t because I got scared – of a father and his nine year old daughter.

He made a joke about how he’s a bad father and his daughter replied, “a crappy dad wouldn’t be bringing me to parrrisssss.”

I hope it stays that way forever.

Kiubon

#266

2.28.22

10:14p

It’s very hard to walk up to random strangers and ask to sleep in their house.

Kiubon

#265

2.27.22

11:27a

I’m amazing people stop their cars and drive me somewhere. Starting in Nantes, me and Paul-Antoine took three cars to Le Mans. And then one car to Paris. All by hitchhiking. We couldn’t find a last car towards Brussels so we took a BlaBlaCar.

I’m amazed at these people and their kindness. They don’t know me. I don’t know them. Yet they decide to trust. I’ve never once felt unsafe in a random person’s car.

Kiubon

#264

2.26.22

1:16p

Acne started showing up around 7th grade. “Don’t worry, it’s puberty”, I thought. Welp. It’s still here. It’s been ten years. What the fuck. I’ve tried taking pills which helped a little. I tried washing it away which didn’t work. And I tried changing what I ate which seems to be the biggest catalysts. But all these fucking sweets and chocolate croissants all over France are proving harder to shake than a porn addiction. Will I finish this blogpost and go straight to the kitchen counter 12 feet away and eat more sweets?

Acne makes me feel insecure. It makes me feel unqualified. It dampens my positive self talk.

So what the fuck am I doing to make it better?

The reason I can write about this “publicly” is because I’ve told one person about this website, and I doubt he will read this.

So here we are, ten years later with even more acne, maybe even less self control in some aspects and more in others.

Let’s leave acne in 2022.

Kiubon

#263

2.25.22

10:59a

I’ve been wearing the same shirt the past month and a half. I have 60 more days with this shirt. Not complaining. Just saying. Travel stretches us. I’m probably going to do this in “real world” too. I’m tired. I don’t know what to write. I don’t want to complain because clearly I’m so lucky to be here.

Faster alone, further together.

I’m currently travelling with Paul Antoine who’s been in bed the whole morning. Before we left for our trip yesterday, we stopped for granola bars. And then stopped again for cigarettes. He gets hungry faster than me, I worry about his spirit when we cars pass us by, his smile is not as bright as me. We do not have the same qualities travel qualities.

But maybe we will actually make it to brussels. That’s the goal. Maybe we will.

Kiubon

#262

2.22.22

1:34p

Yes I ate bread. I binged 8 pain au chocolates. 6 of which were in 10 minutes. I’m tired of lacking self control. Fuck this. fuck bread. fuck sweets.

Kiubon

#261

2.21.22

I need to stop eating bread. I will stop eating bread.

Kiubon

#261

2.20.22

10:49p

I’m at my old host family’s house – where I studied abroad – having an amazing time. It’s been more than two years since I’ve seen them. After I leave, I’m not sure when I will see them again. If I’m swamped with life and so are they, or something else more tragic happens, then this is the only time I have guaranteed with them. That means make the most of it! Yes cliche. And yes true.

Kiubon

#260

2.18.22

2:53p

I was losing a lot of weight because I was eating so little. And the portions are small. Then I got to Clermont-Ferrand and went a little crazy with the pain au chocolats. Now I’m gaining weight. Lol insecurities. More first world problems coming your way.

Kiubon